I realize these feelings are artificial. I understand this because of my constant falling off the fence and whichever side I land on depends on the thought, memory, or person I see which sparked the fall.
I look at a letter and think what might life be like? I see a picture and wish for that life. A second chance. With both, or one, or neither.
I see her at my game. In my house. In my car. In my life. She's/they are not there. I see another girl and wonder, "could she be the one?" I look at her figure and wish. Snapping me back to reality, again confirming that I'm superficial. I want yet I don't. It's been a year, two, seven. Will it end? Will the mechanical gears inside ever match their teeth again? Or will they grind away leaving the continuously smooth loop.
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