Illumination

The dark has consumed me as I sit in the corner of my round room. The walls tilt as support weakens, dust and rock settle.

I look behind me and realize my shoulders are just to tired to carry the burdens of my past so I turn and walk away. I don't have the energy. The shadows are dark and mocking. Flicker on the wall as the light bounces and fades. I put down my head hiding from what's out their. My heart cracks and splinters. Afraid of what's to come. At the moment of most despair I feel a hand on my shoulder, a warm voice in my heart. The darkness begins to fade.

I stand on my own two feet, the future is my illumination. My beacon in the dark. If I follow this light my path will be clear and the darkness won't touch me anymore.

Decisive pain

It was my decision yet it still hurts.  I'm still sad.  I go through the day filling my time with distractions.  When the day settles down, the darkness returns.  I know it's best.  It has to be done but it doesn't make it any easier.  I know we shouldn't talk.  We need to cut the cord of reliance but it's so hard.  I can't be that cold.  I don't plan on moving on, just past...at least for a little while.  Let's make it an easy transition, let's do it together for us, even though there is no more us.

You're the poison, I'm the dagger...

I took you in last night.  Drank you and reminisced as the cool liquid coated my throat, flowing through me like memories hanging on a cool Fall breeze.  It burns to drink.  It burns to think.  You seep through my vanes.  I sweat you through my pours.

No matter the pain, I come back for more.  Like a child, touching a hot stove.  I call you come.  You pick me up again, with all of my jagged edges.  No matter the pain, you cut yourself again, trusting that I won't scar but I always do.

If I see the poison on the table, next to the dagger, will I pick it up and drink it slowly?  Will you grab the dagger and cut yourself, knowing of the cuts, bruises, scars.  Will we lay there together, hand in hand.  Heart in hands.  Prepared for the pain, expecting it, wanting it.  Our hearts slow, and we drift off, together, forever.

A new season

Introducing a new look for a new season.  I thought to celebrate my favorite season of the year I would change my layout.  Unfortunately the sidebar doesn't match up as well, but that will be a work in progress.  Sort of as a celebration of my favorite time of year and all of the good changes happening right now.  The autumn of the year some believe, is the time of slow decay.  I consider it a time of new beginnings and good changes.  The history of my life reflects this.  So many of my life changes has occurred in the Fall.  My move to Colorado, girls, flying etc.  Here's to a new life.  A toast.